Reasons Why I Might Be The Worst Roomate Evar

 This is me.
A simple girl trying to win the game of life.
Which always seemed to give me twins when I landed on one of those surprise Life Token spots. Despite my aversion to children I always took them in and let them run around my Split-level house. Eh, child services would be there in a couple weeks to collect them anyways.

(Side note: I always avoided picking the accountant as a job because they looked like insufferable, balding, weirdos who enjoyed the stress of calculating numbers.

                                                      
For many reasons, not including my dislike for youngens, I've concluded that I may just be the worst roommate ever. So here's a list cause I know every loves those things.

1. One time I made a tuna fish sandwich and ate it in my shared room. Let's just say that Tuna E. Smell hung out with us for a while.

2. I frequently stay up late doing whatever. The other night after my roommate turned off the lights and asked me as I was gazing intensely into my laptop screen what I was doing. 

     "Makin a chart," I replied evenly like this was a normal thing to be doing.

     "You always stay up doing the weirdest things," my roommate accused.

     "Yeah." I sighed in agreement. But that late night excursion produced that lovely chart below this post. I'd say it was worth it. 

3. I was the first to set off the fire alarm. Luckily since I've set it off so many times at home I knew just what to do-- flap a towel at the thing like you're a freaking matador. Luckily my cheese toast still tasted good after I extracted it from its burnt shell.

4. Sometimes I call my roommate Honey Bunch, Sugar Cup, Pumpkin, and Sweetums. But never sweetheart. I would give someone one of my fire-breathing hamsters if they could remove the word sweetheart permanently from existence.

5. I could never save Peach from Bowzer. Oh and those goomba things always ganged up on me. 
 

6. I change outfits like 5 times a day. I can't explain how or why this happens, but it does. See number 9.
7. I sometimes listen to Elvis's All Shook Up and shimmy. [ Like right now ]

8. I have a lot of weird trinkets just hanging around our room.

The Buff is from South Dakota and is one of my favorite things.
The woven octopus is something awesome a friend made for me back home.
I love Indiana Jones and that is an old popcorn bucket that I use for storage.
The dreamcatcher is something sweet I think my dad made. But as you can see Justin Bieber
in the background(from roommates side) my roommate and I's tastes aren't exactly simpatico.

9. I hate cleaning. Whenever I change outfits, remember like five times a day, I just throw them wherever. Back home I usually waited until I couldn't see the carpet anymore or I found a spider to clean up.

I really wouldn't mind just wading through piles of stuff just to get to my bed or like deep sea diving just to find my shoes. Or even wearing my room as a skirt. Oh the possibilities. 

 10. I hate cleaning my dishes. Especially since our sink smells like Yellowstone. In fact I wouldn't be too surprised if a geyser shot out of the drain... we clog it a lot. 

11. I'm very afraid of the dark. Actually back home I had a set of rules I'd follow before bed. My closet would be closed. No mirrors were allowed in there and I had a night light always on. One of the first things my roommate says to me: "I have to have complete darkness when I sleep."
....  "I was about to say," *pushes the nightlight under the bed with foot* "the same."
    She's lucky that light comes in from the porch otherwise I'd have brought out my torch of a nightlight that changes different colors. [ps my room has both an open closet and a huge mirror in it :(]

12.  I refuse to like Justin Bieber {the one hanging up in our room in that picture up above. Sigh} Taylor Swift, and country period. Although I did enjoy the film about Biebs, Never Say Never. I have respect for that little twerp.

13. I have to go potty a lot, which is more of a random fact about me, but the fact that I say I have to go potty counts against me. 

So those are my main points of why I'm a sucky roommate. I have yet to compile a list of Pros to having me a roommate.

How about I start right now.

1. My dazzling smile....